Wholeness Realized

Each nourishes and compliments

The goddess seeks to heal the man, to bring him to his complete fullness. Yet the man must first want to be healed by the goddess. He must want to uncover his wholeness and feel the love and all energies of the goddess permeate his being. Only then can the goddess be invoked and brought into being. So he must be receptive, wanting, and allowing for the goddess to be felt through him and ultimately for him to merge with the goddess.



The energies of the female divine expression nurture the developing male psyche, or male divinity, and the energies of the male divine expression nurture the flowering female psyche, or female divinity. Thus there is complementation, and the exact nature of this complementation can only be known through experience. It would be useless to attempt any description, beyond saying that each nourishes and compliments the other. What’s important is the experience of this. The male psyche naturally recognizes the distinct qualities of the female divinity or goddess being, and the female psyche naturally recognizes the distinct qualities of the male divinity or god being, as revealed through the lover of the opposite sex. This is because of the need of the other’s energies or qualities. The flowering recognizes that which nourishes it, and it is sexually attracted to that other kind of energy. It naturally wants relationship and intercourse with this other. So the one recognizes and is attracted to the other, which is felt to be a kind of longing or need for the other.

This is also a recognition of the other half of one’s whole being, or shall we say that the Divine Being, at the very essence of the universal human psyche, recognizes one polar side of Itself in the other person. Thus, the revelation of Divine Being is recognized as a polarity being expressed respectively through the man and woman. One polarity is expressive through the man and the other polarity is expressive through the woman. The man feels himself to be one polarity and sees the other polarity in the woman, and the same is true for the woman though in the opposite way.

Yet the polarized division does not remain segregated to the man and woman, because this recognition of the other divinity through the other person eventually becomes a recollection of that divinity in oneself. The other divinity is first recognized as being in relation to oneself, or in intercourse with oneself, but gradually this recognition turns into a recollection of that quality of divinity within oneself. So through the recognition of the polarized quality in the other person, that same quality becomes recollected or recognized in oneself. This is the process of re-collecting, re-membering, and reclaiming one’s own divine wholeness. It is, essentially, a revelation of that other kind of divinity emerging from oneself. It is first recognized in the other and then recollected in oneself. First there is relationship with the other, and then there is synthesis of the other. Or another way of understanding this is that the recognition of a certain divine quality expressing through the other person, and the allowing of this to vibrate through one’s being, begins to resonate the development and emergence of that seed quality within oneself, and thus a greater wholeness begins to reveal itself.




The whole being of man and woman is essentially both male and female divinities.
The god and goddess qualities are the potential essences of both man and woman, though the man predominately identifies with and expresses the god divinity and the woman the goddess divinity. Man and woman are essentially whole divine beings and not strictly limited by the polarized qualities. Thus, both man and woman can gradually recognize and recollect their wholeness. Yet one of the polarities will naturally be more dominant in experience and expression, at least at any one moment. So as one of the polarities are in greater revelation, the other will naturally be found outside oneself in the other person, and this other polarity will also be felt as one’s inner potential. It will feel as a soul quality, as yet fully expressed but seeking expression. It will feel more as a potential and not as an actualization Therefore, one of the polarities will be more expressive and actualized, and this will be the quality of ego identification, while the other polarity of wholeness will be felt as an inner potential or soul quality in relation with the ego quality. And there is a certain inner attraction to that missing soul quality, which is simultaneous to the attraction of the lover who reflectively expresses that quality, and one will secretly wish the self-expression of this other quality of the soul, much as one wishes for intercourse with the lover. This is the inner tantric sexual experience. The female spiritual qualities within the man, those soft, gentle and radiant love qualities, feel to be like the desired female lover, and once man recognizes and allows himself to feel his inner female qualities, he naturally becomes attracted to this female collectivity and wants this to draw closer to him.

Those qualities, as a whole or collectivity, are powers of the goddess, and from the perspective of the male ego this goddess appears to be the inner soul or that which is emerging to bring wholeness into expression. So for man, his inner soul, or the bringer of wholeness, is felt to be the goddess awakening in his heart and emerging in his psyche. She feels to be warm and soft and loving, and She comes from within to caress the man with gentle and caring love. If allowed, She embraces the man and floods him with love energy. And from this infusion of the goddess from within, those energies or qualities of the goddess are assimilated with the male qualities to form a synthesis, a new birth of divinity, a new babe having qualities of both goddess and god. This is the outcome of the inner goddess making intercourse with the conscious male ego. She comes from within, but as a being different in feeling from the man’s usual self-awareness. That is, She seems as Another, different from oneself, and yet there is a perplexing feeling of recognition, that one knows this Other in the heart, that She has come to him many times before or has always been there within him, loving, caring, and guiding him to wholeness. She is the goddess within, and man naturally loves Her, adores Her, and desires Her presence, for She is healing and comforting. Thus, man, or the male psyche, forms a closer and closer relationship with this inner goddess, welcoming Her and allowing Her to love him.

And through this, man is healed from within. This is the inner sexual healing described in the tantra. It is essentially a psychological transformation, via the love relationship between the conscious male psyche and the emerging female spirit from within. This can be reflected in, and complimented by, a love relationship between the man and a woman, whereby the physical sexual ritual compliments and reflects the inner, psychological relationship, and vice versa. Of course, the male ego, if overly identified and encapsulated in itself, may reject this relationship or try to maintain dominance over its effects. This then closes the door of healing and wholeness, when the man locks himself away in his own psychic prison, rejecting the inner goddess and female energies. So man, or the male ego identity, has the free choice to either relax and welcome the goddess love emerging from within, which is transformative, or he can tightly hold on to his self controlled identity and defensively push away the female transformative power. The ego realizes that an involved love relationship, or an opening to the power of love, is transformative to its own existence and a threat to its autonomous and dominating control. At the same time it might also realize that this transformative power is the potential healer of its own pain of separation. The ego is desperately lonely and at the same time fearful of the transformative effects of falling into love. But fall it must, if healing and wholeness is to come about. The ego must allow itself to fall into the great love emerging from within or from below the edge of waking consciousness. It is really very easy. Simply allow the quality of the innermost being to come forth, and an intimate relationship within the psyche will gradually unfold between the emerging quality of feeling and the identified consciousness. A love relation within oneself will gradually unfold, a feeling of being loved and loving oneself. And for the man, there will be an expanding acceptance of the spiritual female within, the emerging goddess within himself. He gradually allows this female spiritual energy to be assimilated into conscious being and expression, though without forfeiting his male spiritual qualities. And thus a new synthesis of consciousness and expression gradually unfolds and flowers into being. First is recognition, then relationship, then assimilation, and finally synthesis. This is the path to wholeness.

I have focused on the example of man in relation to his inner female spirit, but I hope that the woman can relate to this as well, in her relation to her inner male spirit. Her relation will be different in its polarity, but there is much similarity in the general process of inner relating. She will have her distinctive female ego consciousness and her inner emerging spiritual wholeness will feel and appear as a male spiritual energy or collectivity of male archetypal qualities. Her inner spirit, which comes to love and guide her, will be a god-like power, having the qualities of strength and fortitude and protection. This inner god will be loving and protective of her female gentleness and sympathetic nature. Yet she may too, as a restricted ego, fear and defend against the power of the god emerging from within. She may fear that that god will dominate her and destroy her female nature. But in reality the inner god will strengthen her own female expression and help empower her radiance in the world, that is, if she allows the god power to assimilate into her being. A relationship must form between the female consciousness and the inner male divinity. The woman must learn to love the qualities of the spiritual male within her, allowing this god power to make intercourse within her feeling psyche. She must allow the male power of the god to emerge fully within her, to love her and fill her with His pleasurable strength. She must open herself to Him and allow His Will to emerge through her. If this god power is recognizes and allowed into being, then the woman is filled with great excitement and enjoyment with this intercourse. She is naturally excited with the prospect of being filled with the power and will of the god, and she enjoys His intercourse and assimilation into her, just as the man enjoys the goddess inter-coursing with him. The woman feels the love power of the god relating to her and inter-coursing through her. And this, of course, can be reflected in and complimented by her love relationship with her male lover.

Thus, an inner relationship can be formed between the female and male qualities of divinity. For man, the goddess emerges as the inner healer, and for woman the god emerges as the inner healer. The goddess has the dominant quality of unconditional, sensitive love, though She is also much more, and the god has the dominant quality of determined will or inner strength, though He is also much more. These two form a divine polarity or polarized potential within the One Whole Being of man and woman. It is only due to a dominant identification with one or the other that the polar opposite is felt to be the missing or emerging other half of being.

Yet the relationship between these two is nonetheless real in the process of psychological wholeness, and these two essential energies are spiritually and ontologically real within our cosmic existence. Thus, the relationship cannot be avoided or dismissed, and any attempt to do so is merely a strategy of the ego to maintain a false sense of its own wholeness. The god and goddess powers of the psyche must be eventually recognized and unavoidably embraced; otherwise the suffering of separation will remain and a subtle fear or hatred of the opposite sex will motivate one’s expression.

The recognition and acceptance of spiritual polarity, within oneself and in the world, is necessary in order for divine union to take place and a new synthesis of wholeness to be born. In tantra, reality is relationship and the union of this relationship, and self-unity or self-wholeness comes through embrace and love. This is both an inward and outward truth.

The deepest essence of our unity comes from our heart. Our central heart contains the wholeness of being. Our wholeness emerges from the very centre of our being. And yet, however paradoxical this may seem, our wholeness is the wholeness of life, the wholeness of the world and the cosmos. Our wholeness is found, not only within, but in the wholeness of life. The whole relational web of life is our wholeness, for in reality there is no isolation but only interrelatedness We may block this or deny this, but we cannot really isolate ourselves from being effected and challenged by the world or by life around us. The effect is merely different, and more painful as well, if we deny or try to isolate ourselves from the whole relationship of life. We are then merely spiritual fools and we do harm to ourselves, to others, and to the greater ecology of life.

We then live from ignorance and defensiveness, and our expression becomes limited by this, and we become cut off from the potential realization of wholeness. This false understanding, this spiritual ignorance, becomes a great trap, imprisoning us in an isolating self-cocoon, though we may feel similar to many others who so too remain in this conditioned, fortified defense. The way out is a step of courage, an opening up of the defenses, and a letting in of life and relations, a letting in and embracing of the wholeness. First we must realize ourselves as a part of the wholeness, then we allow relationship to form between our limited conscious part and the greater whole, then, through embrace and intercourse, we gradually realize union and wholeness. We gradually come into wholeness, through recognition and relationship.

And all that has been said of this relationship to the greater wholeness around us can also be understood to apply to the wholeness within. We try to isolate ourselves and defend against the emerging wholeness, because we are fearful or prejudice against those qualities of being which feel and appear to be diametrically different from the fixed qualities that we normally identify with. In other words, our self-identity, or that which we think ourself to be, is threatened by the emergence of something other than this.

But that part of our wholeness which is missing from the identified consciousness will, of course, be seen as Other than one’s identity. This something other may even feel to be an Otherness emerging to possess or destroy the fixed identity or one’s unique sense of self. The Other is really the other, missing part of wholeness, but it may appear to be strange, wrong or alien to the usual ego consciousness. The ego says, “I don’t like what is different than me, and I certainly cannot trust or love this which is different.” This other is too unfamiliar and too unpredictable. It is just too different.

But that is just how the as yet unrecognized and unaccepted parts of wholeness will appear. And that greater part of wholeness which is missing from self-consciousness may feel and appear to be as different as man may seem to woman and woman may seem to man. The emerging wholeness, or the emergence of that which is missing, will predominately be the polarized opposite to the more usual self-identity or that part of wholeness which is not missing. One will need to form an accepting relationship with this missing quality of oneself, with this Other half of oneself, and allow this into the ongoing assimilation and synthesis of being.

Whatever is missing from one’s whole self-consciousness and experience, or whatever of one’s essential wholeness is not being expressed, will need to be allowed into being. The first step is recognition and acceptance, and then love and embrace. Then finally there is assimilation and synthesis. From relationship, be it inner or outer, comes union, and from union comes unity or wholeness.





* Star qualities – and the synthesis of male and female

Through these transformations within the love ritual, the divine being represented and manifested in one’s lover becomes more truthfully revealed. One’s lover is finally revealed as a true god or goddess, or as a Divine Star. The male Star is a Hero Star, the Great Achiever or Great Lover. He may also appear as the Guiding Star. The female Star is a Beauty Star, the Radiant One or Love Star, and She may also appear as the Star of Inspiration. Esoterically, the god Star is five-pointed and the goddess Star is seven-pointed. The balanced star is six pointed.

The god and goddess Stars have different essential qualities, yet in their deepest essence we can say that each is a power or quality of Divine Love. Still, within the tantra the essential qualities of Divine Love or Divine Being are experienced in these two polarizations or two essential types, as represented in male and female energies.

The Star qualities are the culminating expression and revelation of the male and female divine potentials within the psyche of man and woman. The male divinity in man and the female divinity in woman are like seeds in seek of full expression and revelation. These divine qualities seek their full flowering of expression in man and woman. Then, man and woman, respectively, find and express their full male and female potentials. Man flowers into manhood and woman flowers into womanhood. Then, as these divine qualities flower forth they are recognized and revealed to the other sex, where upon they feed and nurture the other.

The two essential kinds of qualities compliment and nurture each other’s development. The divine male qualities nurture the growth of the divine female qualities, and vice versa, so that each develops with the help of the other or through the experience of the other. The two kinds of energy feed each other what is needed for their respective development. And yet through this complimenting process the male divine qualities begin to also blend with the female divine qualities, such that the man begins to experience the goddess qualities and the woman begins to experience the god qualities. In other words, the goddess qualities begin to synthesize and emerge through the man, and the opposite begins to emerge through the woman.

This synthesis of god and goddess energies in both man and woman develops simultaneously with the flowering of the distinctive male and female divine qualities, but it is dependent on that flowering of manhood and womanhood. In other words, the flowering of the male divinity, or the male star, precedes the assimilation and synthesis of the female divinity. That female divinity will gradually emerge through the male flowering, but not before that flowering is developed and expressive. The man must first be fully man before his potential female divine qualities reveal and express themselves. The synthesis of wholeness is somewhat simultaneous, as it does proceed somewhat along with the flowering of the male star, but it is still dependent and thus, more or less, a latter development. The same can be said of the woman, respective of her opposite nature. This explanation is less than satisfactory, but it is the best I can do.

The complete and whole expression of both man and woman will eventually be a certain synthesis of both male and female divine qualities, whereby both man and woman come to realize and express the whole Divine Being, inclusive of both god and goddess qualities, and yet this greater transfiguration will depend on the man revealing the full power of the god Star and the woman revealing the full radiance of the goddess Star. And man and woman will know their respective star, because it will be recognized as their greater essence and flowering. One of the Stars will feel to be more true to one’s nature and will appear to flower forth with greater energy than the other Star.

This is known as one’s first essence, and it can be understood as one’s sexual divine identity, being identified more with either the god Star or the goddess Star, the male divine qualities or the female divine qualities. Then as this first essence flowers forth into revelation and expression, and as one recognizes and is nurtured by the opposite divine essence as expressed by the lover, the other star essence begins to shine through the first essence, and the greater synthesis gradually takes place. Out of this greater synthesis comes the seven-pointed Star, the revealed Star of Complete Divine Being, also known as the Rainbow Star, revealing and expressing the whole spectrum of Divine Qualities.

Read the related article – The Underworld of sexual power (moving beyond fear)